Anyhow, I got another "up your ass customer" email stating that, once again, they are raising the rates of cable TV. Let me show you the letter stripped of its BS and reworded to tell it like it is. Needless to say, I will be taking my business elsewhere once the contracts expire in three more months.
To meet this commitment, we are stealing more money from our customers effective July 1, 2010.
Dear CUSTOMER:
As a valued Rogers cash cow, you should know that we're committed to milking you even more by claiming to bring you the best entertainment experience, built to suit our greed. In order to do this, we have crafted a new method to suck you dry.
Rogers has been doing jack shit to limit the impact to you from increased television programming costs. However, this year, our made up costs went up 10% more than last year—one of the largest imaginary increases ever. Rogers will absorb much of these "increases" by ensuring that our most popular packages will increase by no more than 5%, this week anyway. Additionally, we are pleased to confirm that hardly any of the monthly service fees for many of our packages are not changing at all.
See the chart below for the new rates, effective your first bill on or after July 1, 2010. All other aspects of your service will remain the same, overpriced and under-delivered. If you're currently enjoying a promotion, your discount will remain for the duration of your promotion period. Once that is up ensure to bend over your couch as we will certainly rape you of any money we missed out on during the promotion. If you have any questions, please call 1.800.497.1391 or visit rogers.com/innovation. Please note that although we will pretend to care, we don't. Our monopoly on the cable TV market ensures we don't need to. Please expect another one of these emails within 120 business days. Thank you for continually giving us more and more money. Our millions in profits ensures that we can continue to put R&D into new methods to rape and steal from you, our loyal customers. Things like the Quick Start Guide are just the beginning as we have many more methods up our sleeve to take more and give less.
As always, thank you for "choosing" Rogers.
At Rogers, we are committed to fake system access fees - the only way we can raise your rates when you are locked into a contract. Thanks for paying over $25 a month on these bull shit fees.
Sincerely,
Matthew Ariker
Vice President, Customer Marketing
Rogers Communications, Inc
