Top Ten Things to do while giving an important business presentation.

1. Slip a slide of grandma naked somewhere in your Powerpoint presentation. After the slide comes up apologize for the inconvenience and moan like a tramp while touching your left nipple.
2. Yell 'fire' randomly. Sometimes in between sentences, sometimes in between words. Grab the nearest fire extiguisher and spray it into your mouth and let it foam up nicely. Keep going like nothing has changed.
3. Do a dick shadow puppet rendition of Lord Of The Rings. Ask your boss to play the part of Gollum. If you are female, then show them President Clam and ask if they'll vote for you.
4. In the middle of an important slide, stop talking English. Start making up a new language and get really pissed off if people don't seem to be following along anymore. Show your anger by throwing a random laptop at the window. If it breaks continue like nothing has changed. If not, grab another laptop and repeat.
   
5. Start licking the conference room table. Don't stop until someone actually says something. If no one says a thing, proceed to lick the chairs too.
6. Randomly pretend that someone asks you a question. Say "I'm sorry could you repeat that question?" After about a dozen times, pretend to be agitated by this rude person who won't leave you alone. Show your anger by screaming like a T-Rex.
7. Ensure to always have a large cup of very hot coffee at hand. If someone seems to be fading or not giving you their full attention, pull the lid off the cup and throw the coffee into their face. Explain the importance of caffeine.
8. Turn off the lights and hide.
9. Play a quick video showing a Roman Orgy. Then ask "anyone else gettin' into this?"
10. Take off your shirt and lather yourself up in oil. Do this until you are completely covered. When you are done ensure to fart, light a cigar and say "so do I get my fucking promotion or what?"