Top Ten Things to do during a wedding reception

1. Stand on the table and ask for some service. When staff or members of the wedding party finally approach you, pull your pants down to your ankles. Tell everyone at your table how much you love weddings.
2. During the speeches plug in a radio and crank it loud to "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" by Wham! Just get up and start dancing all over like it's the best song you've ever heard. Every time your hear the words "go go" punch someone...anyone.
3. While going through the reception line introduce yourself to every wedding party member as the guy who slept with the wedding member next in line. This is even more effective if you are at the last member already. Wink, crotch thrust and get back in line to do it again.
   
4. During the first dance between the bride and the groom get up and ask if you can cut in. Likely the response will be no. Pull out a dildo pointing it into their faces in a threatening manner then insist that perhaps you did not make yourself clear the first time. Once accepted, ensure to dance with the groom if you are a man or bride if you are a woman.
   
5. Throw a bowling ball towards the head table during dinner. Put up a whiteboard with scores. Taking out the bride is worth 100 points. After you mark your score ask who wants to go next? If everyone stares at your awkwardly take out the lawn darts and say "going once..."
   
6. Start serving the wedding cake well before dinner. Use your hands to cut and serve it on toilet paper. Lick the icing off of people's lips before they have a chance to wipe.
7. Bring a search light and shine it into the bride and groom's face during pictures and speeches. When they get mad put the batman logo over it and point it to the sky. Tell them you are just doing your job as commissioner.
8. After the bride's mom is done her speech get up and give her a box of condoms. Tell the whole audience "I guess we won't be needing these anymore now will we?" and wink to her.
9. Go over to the DJ booth (or if it is a live band go on to the stage) and grab the microphone. Proceed to put the mic as far into your throat as possible thrusting it in and out. Look at the bride after everyone stops and stares in disgust and ask her "remind you of our trip to Disneyland last winter?" You will probably be attacked by people at this point so keep the mic for defense.
10. Walk up to the bride at the head table, point to her face and say "is this seat taken?"